Its always a trial and error process when it comes to parenting. Especially when you’re a first time parent and there is no rule book on what to really do. Let’s face it, no child is the same and not every child reacts well to structure. Some times, you just have to roll with the punches and find what works for you. Here is what I have seen works for my child and how we get through each day one at a time.
Include them in every day activities, even if its a small job
My daughter loves to be included whenever I am doing anything around the house. They find it crucial to be a part of everything. I could just tell my daughter to hold the basket and make sure it doesn’t tip over when I am doing laundry. And she is okay with that. She is getting to play her part plus it also helps her because she gets a little bit of allowance money for helping mommy around the house.
Listen to EVERY story and comment
I do not know how many times I end up listening to the same story or comment from my little one. She really likes to voice her opinion on about every single thing that is going on around her. Sometimes, all they really need from you is to listen and make them feel like they are really having a “grown up” conversation with their parent. Syd loves when I tell her things that happen and really craves the feedback on her stories. Even if these stories are things that you already know because you were there when it happened.. They just need to know you’re there for them.
Make your own traditions
For the past two years, I have been really making a point to take a mother -daughter trip with my daughter. Its a tradition that she starts to look forward to every year. It gives them something to look forward to either every year, month or week. It all depends on the tradition that you want to start with your young ones.
Traditions, big or small, give you and your little ones a special time just for yourselves. It does not need to include anyone else and thats what makes it extra special for your babies.
Know when to be tough and when you can talk like a best friend
Every parent always hits that obstacle in parenthood about wanting to be your kid’s best friend. But when is it the best time for you to be their best friend and when to actually be the parent? It is a very thin line and it is always different with each child. You may have more times being tough if you have a hard listener on your hands and you may have more best friend moments if you have a child that knows how they should act at certain times.
I can’t sit here and tell you exactly wha those times are because I am still going through it as my little one keeps on growing but I can tell you that you do not always need to be tough on them. They may have a day where they just need you to listen like a friend would and leave the parent talk in the background for that case. Those instances come more when they are teenangers but you can use it when they are little.
My little one had an instance where she wanted to talk to me about something but she was a little hesitant about it and I know it was because I was her mom and she didn’t want to cause trouble. I told her that she could just talk to me. She opened up about a kid that was not saying nice things to her and I just told her that she needed to confront that kid or bring an adult in. Sometimes they just need to know that you are there for them.
Remember parents, not all kids are made the same and they are not meant to be. Take each situation as it comes. It is all about trial and error with being a parent. Do not freak out and think that you are not being a good parent. We all take time getting there. Just keep doing what you are doing.